


Makeover Sequences Aren't That Easy

by chowderr



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Established Sirius Black/Remus Lupin, F/F, F/M, Lesbian Marlene McKinnon, M/M, Makeover, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), Minor James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, Minor Marlene McKinnon/Dorcas Meadowes, Peter Pettigrew is a seventh wheel, Remus Lupin gets a very temporary makeover, Remus Lupin is a Little Shit, Sirius Black & Marlene McKinnon Friendship, Sirius Black is stubborn, Young James Potter, Young Lily Evans Potter, Young Peter Pettigrew, Young Remus Lupin, Young Sirius Black, but marlene and dorcas are hanging out today, can you tell i don't like peter, i know he was their friend that's why i hate him even more, so he's gonna sit there like :), usually he's just a fifth wheel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-31
Updated: 2020-12-31
Packaged: 2021-03-10 22:34:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,885
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28284810
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chowderr/pseuds/chowderr
Summary: Sirius and Marlene decide to give Remus a makeover. Unfortunately, Remus makes it a lot more difficult than it needs to be. Recruiting Lily doesn't seem to help much either, but Sirius is determined to see what his boyfriend would look like if he actually did his hair and didn't dress like an eighty year old librarian.Or alternatively: Sirius and Marlene want to play dress up but Remus refuses to wear anything that isn't jumpers and khakis and behaves like a child as a result.
Relationships: James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, Marlene McKinnon/Dorcas Meadowes, Remus Lupin & Lily Evans Potter, Remus Lupin & Marlene McKinnon, Sirius Black & Lily Evans Potter, Sirius Black & Marlene McKinnon, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Comments: 4
Kudos: 40





	Makeover Sequences Aren't That Easy

**Author's Note:**

> i literally only write at like 3am and i don't proofread so if this is absolute nonsense that's why im sorry

Apparently, dressing one’s boyfriend is far more difficult than you’d expect. Currently, Lily Evans and Marlene McKinnon were holding down a very upset Remus Lupin as one very exasperated Sirius Black tried desperately to do his hair. Sirius and Marlene had decided to take it upon themselves to give Remus a makeover, which Lily had been dragged into in hopes she, as a reasonable person, would be able to coax the overgrown toddler into doing what they said. That had been over two hours ago, and the most they’d gotten done was putting a bracelet on him, which he had thrown to the other side of the room the very second he could manage it. All four of them were sat on the floor of the marauder’s dorm room, and frankly the only reason Lily and Marlene were able to keep Remus from running off was because James had kept him up all night going on and on about Merlin knows what and he was positively exhausted. He would’ve been asleep if he wasn’t practically being attacked.

“For crying out loud, Rem, hold still!” Sirius exclaimed, grabbing the other boy’s face to try and stop him from squirming about so much. All he got in response was a pair of sharp teeth digging into his hand, causing him to yank it back with a noise of betrayal. “Did you just fucking bite me?” Remus smiled and Lily smacked him upside the head.

“Don’t be a little shit, Lupin,” she said, rolling her eyes. “And I used to think you were the sane one.” Well that was silly of her to assume. All four of the marauders were a nutjob in their own way, Remus and Peter were just better at acting normal than Sirius and James. Contrary to popular belief, Remus was actually the mastermind for most of their pranks, so yeah, Lily had been dead wrong about him. While the werewolf was distracted, though, Marlene managed to grab Sirius’ brush from off of the floor and pull it through Remus’ hair a few times before he let out a long, loud string of curse words at her. Quickly, she dropped the brush and stared at him with a look of surprise.

“It’s just a brush, Remus, my god. Have you _ever_ brushed your hair?”

“Honestly, it’s almost as bad as James’,” Lily added. The girls let go of Remus, who immediately scooted a little bit away from the group, staring at them suspiciously. “Sirius, the brush isn’t gonna work. Just get him in the shower at least, please. He smells like my grandmother’s dentures,”

“Oi! I’m right here!” The tall boy frowned, though he couldn’t exactly disagree.

“On it,” Sirius replied, standing up and tapping Remus’ head, who begrudgingly stood up as well. As much as he wanted to argue, he knew he needed a shower, so he followed the smaller boy to the bathroom, promptly sitting down on the shower floor the second they got there. “Oh come on, really? Get up, you can’t shower fully clothed,”

“I can. It’s more efficient, saves more water, cause I don’t have to wash them separately,” Remus replied a matter-of-factly. With a sigh, Sirius grabbed his arm and pulled him back up, staring him in the eyes.

“Take a shower,”

“Well I never said I wouldn’t-”

“A _normal_ shower, Moons.” The room was silent for a moment or two.

“Fine,” Remus finally said as he pulled off his jumper and placed it on top of the other’s head before turning the tap on the shower to start the water. “You gonna join me?”

“No, Remus, I’m not gonna join you,” Sirius shook his head, followed by a (quite charming) chuckle that made the werewolf smile. He obliqued and finished undressing before standing under the showerhead and closing the curtain. Sirius hoisted himself up onto the sink and was perched there as he waited for the other boy. “Use soap this time!” He called as soon as it came into his mind.

“That was once! I skipped shampoo _once_!”

As expected, Remus didn’t take long to shower. The only times it took more than ten minutes were when he fell asleep in there, and thankfully, this wasn’t one of those times. He stepped out of the shower and took the towel Sirius was holding out for him, rubbing his hair furiously with it before wrapping it around his waist as he looked around for his clothes.

“Pads, what’d you do with them?” he asked, voice laced with suspicion.

“Do with what?”

“My clothes!”

“Ohh, your clothes? Hm, not sure,” He was obviously sure, and Remus almost wanted to smack him. Almost. He wouldn’t, of course, but it was a tempting idea.

“Sirius I swear to Merlin-” the boy huffed and, holding onto the towel for extra security, threw open the bathroom door and stormed into the dorm room. He looked a bit insane, in all honesty. Wild hair and water dripping onto the hardwood floor under him as he made his way over to his drawers. Drawers which, as it would seem, had been charmed to lock. “Oh for- really?” he groaned. Marlene and Lily, who Remus had truthfully forgotten were there, couldn’t help but giggle a bit.

“I found them!” Sirius called from beside his bed. Unfortunately for Remus, his boyfriend had not found them. He had, in fact, found the clothes that he, Marlene, and Lily had been trying to get the grumpy teenage boy in for ages now. All three of them knew exactly what they were doing and had the same shit eating grin on their faces. With an expression of clear displeasure, Remus held out his hand and Sirius walked over to hand him the clothes. In a matter of seconds, Remus had taken just the boxers, pulled them on, and run out of the room in hopes of getting help from James, Peter, or Dorcas, who he prayed were still only in the common room. Lily, Marlene, and Sirius, however, stood in utter shock as they watched him run off. “I should go get him, shouldn’t I?” Sirius muttered after a second or two too long. The girls simply nodded, still transfixed on the door.

Remus nearly fell directly on his face as he stumbled down the staircase and skidded to a halt in front of the sofa where his friends were seated. While he hadn’t noticed, there were definitely a few first years seated that were thoroughly confused as to why one of their prefects had just run at full speed into the common room in only his underwear. The rest of the students around seemed unphased, prominently the third years and up, who took one blank look at him and went back to whatever they were doing before he barged in.

“You have to help me,” Remus said, breathing heavily with crazed eyes. The three sitting in front of him simultaneously raised an eyebrow.

“Oi! Lupin! Nice arse!” A girl called from behind Remus. It sounded like Alice Fortescue, so he paid no mind to it, she was a friend. The comment gained some giggles from the group, one of which (James) decided to look Remus up and down.

“She’s not wrong, Moony. Have you been working out? Doing some squats?” He teased.

“Oh shut up, you git! Just hide me!” Remus exclaimed, becoming desperate as he heard footsteps on the staircase he himself had come down just a few moments earlier. Just a few seconds later, Sirius was visible at the bottom of the stairs and James nodded in his direction.

“He’s, uhm- he’s behind you,” Peter pointed out, making Remus swivel around and lock eyes with his boyfriend for a solid ten seconds before he started to make a run for it again. Alas, Dorcas had already gotten off of the couch and all it took was her grabbing his arm to throw off his balance and make him fall right over. Sirius, of course, took the opportunity to march over and pull the brunette back up. A brunette who was thankful for a few seconds before he remembered the current situation and attempted to bolt again. Unfortunately for him, he was still drained from the moon a few days ago, and pulling himself out of Sirius’ firm grasp wasn’t worth the effort, especially not when he was using those puppy eyes. Those damned puppy eyes. Remus could never decide if he loved or hated them. Whatever the consensus on puppy eyes was, Sirius had already begun dragging Remus back up the steps to a chorus of “Good luck!” from their friends.

Once back in the dorm, Remus was handed off to Lily as Marlene and Sirius huddled up by one of the beds, seemingly discussing how they were going to pull this off.

“So Lily,”

“Don’t even try, Remus.”

“Oh c’mon, you can’t be _that_ invested in this,”  
“You don’t know that,” Remus looked at her with a very obvious look of disbelief. “Maybe you know that. But I owe Marlene a favor anyways, she got me out of partnering up with Severus in charms last week,” the werewolf sighed.

“Touché, Lily. You owe _me_ now though, you know that right?” And now it was Lily’s turn to sigh.

“Really? I thought you were better than that, Lupin,”

“Course I’m not. Never have been, never will be. I’ll cash in that favor when it’s most inconvenient for you,”

“You fucking suck,” Remus smiled at her as she stuck up her middle finger at him. Sirius, who’d apparently finished his hushed conversation with Marlene, walked over and gently slapped Lily’s hand.

“Don’t flip him off, only I can flip him off,” Both Marlene and Lily promptly flipped off Remus, then proceeded to flip off Sirius as well. “Rude, but fair. I respect it.” he said with a small nod. After a bit of silence, Sirius took Remus from Lily and pulled him over to his bed, on which a pile of clothes were strewn about. “Moons, I’m giving you the option to choose the outfit, okay?”

“Fuck off, I’m not wearing any of that,” The werewolf crossed his arms with a frown, earning a second round of puppy eyes from the shorter boy, which, to no surprise, made Remus cave again. It was just an outfit, after all, how bad could it be? Very bad, apparently, and Remus realized that the second Sirius held up a pair of ripped black (very) skinny jeans. Oh boy. The next twenty minutes were spent by wrestling Remus into different articles of clothing, each as awful as the last. They weren’t really awful, they were pretty nice, in fact, but they weren’t exactly Remus’ style. Sirius pulled them off wonderfully and so did Marlene on the occasion that she decided to wear something a bit more, what? Edgy? Punk? Whatever. It didn’t matter what the name of the style was, because either way, Remus didn’t like it for himself. What was wrong with him wanting to dress like an old librarian? He liked dressing like an old librarian. It was comfortable and familiar. In any case, Sirius finally managed to get Remus in the skinny jeans he’d originally held up, as well as a faded Queen t-shirt Lily had given him. To top it off, Marlene had charmed Sirius’ leather jacket to fit Remus, with the promise she’d change it back immediately after.

As Remus stared at himself in the mirror, Marlene and Sirius both ambushed him with what he could only assume was ten pounds worth of jewelry. Sirius’ many rings now adorned Remus’ long fingers and Marlene’s bracelets and necklaces covered his thin wrists and neck. At least he could be sure now that he hated wearing jewelry. The one upside to all of this was that Lily had convinced the other two to let Remus wear his own shoes, which were docs anyways, so it wasn’t like there was much resistance in the first place.

Once Sirius and Marlene seemed satisfied with the clothes portion, they decided Remus’ hair was worth another shot, so now, he was sat on the floor while Sirius sat on the bed above him, trying relentlessly to do his hair, and Marlene kneeled in front of Remus, doing her best to put eyeliner on him. The problem with this was that Remus moved a lot as he was, so with Sirius fussing over his hair as Marlene tried to put eye makeup on him? That was a nightmare for everyone involved, and there was enough whining for you to think there was a damn baby in the dorm. It took almost another full twenty minutes for them to finish, and even then, it was slightly questionable. All that was sure was that Remus’ eyes and scalp _hurt_.

“Hey, look at me,” Sirius said, shaking Remus out of the defense mechanism-like trance he’d been set into. Once he turned around he was met with a warm grin and a small peck on the lips from the other boy. “See? That wasn’t so bad, was it?” Sirius held onto the lapels of the jacket to keep Remus leaned close.

“It was awful, Pads. An absolute nightmare, if you were really wondering.”

“Oh hush, you look nice.” Another kiss, on the cheek this time, and Sirius climbed off of the bed to spin Remus around.

“I’m impressed, you two. I’ll be honest, I didn’t think you could pull it off,” Lily commented, more of a hit than it was a compliment.

“Boooo! Shame the disbeliever!” Sirius quickly joined Marlene in booing their friend, while Remus rolled his eyes and continued pouting. “Oi, Remus! You’re supposed to be booing too!” the blonde called.

“I’m not booing Lily, frankly I wish she’d been right. How the hell do you wear these?” The boy shifted uncomfortably. “Feels like my dick is in a goddamn compression sock-” he muttered under his breath, though all three seemed to have heard him and giggled in response.

“Your dick is fine, babe, c’mon,” Sirius replied as he grabbed the boy’s hand and pulled him around again, this time heading downstairs into the common room so he could show him off to the rest of their friends.

The girls came down first. Marlene sat on the arm of the sofa next to Dorcas and kissed her cheek, while Lily laced her fingers with James’ as she sat next to him. A few seconds after they’d gotten comfortable, Sirius rushed down with a wide smile on his face. Remus was a few paces behind him, and the expression on his face was something that could only be described as the look a murderer has on their face before killing someone. Absolutely terrifying. But that didn’t stop his friends from immediately hollering at him, of course.

“Moony! Y’look great!” James said, trying to hold back his laughter. Remus did look surprisingly good, but it was such an odd sight nonetheless.

“Did they- did they put eyeliner on you?” Dorcas asked, leaning forward in an attempt to get a better look.

“Excuse you, you think Sirius could do that? I’m the one that does _his_ daily!” Marlene replied, defending her handiwork as, well, hers.

“It’s definitely… interesting-”

“Peter doesn’t like it! Thank you, Wormtail!” Remus exclaimed, relieved at least one of them agreed with him.

“You look scary,” Peter added nervously. Sirius laughed in retaliation.

“You’ve watched him fold his socks and he still manages to look scary to you? Jeez, Pete,” Dorcas seemed to perk up at the comment.

“You fold your socks?” She asked, seemingly trying to hold in laughter as well.

“That’s not the bloody point! Merlin, why’s everyone think that’s so weird anyways?” Remus tried to defend himself, but all it really did was make James snort. The werewolf pouted and, with a huff, stopped talking. Sirius rubbed his shoulder and stood on his tiptoes to kiss him on the cheek.

“It’s very weird, Rem. It’s cute, though, don’t worry,” Marlene gagged at the couple, to which Sirius stuck his tongue out at her. Remus simply rolled his eyes again and flopped on top of the others on the sofa, causing quite the commotion.

“Get ooooff!”

“You’re crushing me, you arse!”

“Mate I can feel your fucking dick on my leg, move!”

“Shut up, James,”

“Remus! Off!”

And of course a high screech of surprise from Peter as well. Remus only moved once Lily pushed him off of the sofa and he rolled onto the floor, staring up at them all with a look of betrayal.

“You’re all the worst,” Sirius chuckled at Remus’ complaint and knelt next to him on the floor.

“You’ll be fine, you dramatic little shit,” Remus replied with a glare, but it was quickly gone as Sirius tugged him up and pulled him into a gentle kiss. “I’ll never make you wear my clothes again, how ‘bout that?” Oh he definitely would, or try to dress him in general, but in all honesty, Remus didn’t mind. He didn’t exactly like it, but it wasn’t as bad as he made it out to be either. However he felt about it, he knew Sirius enjoyed it, so maybe he’d be less of a pain in the ass next time.

Maybe.


End file.
